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Seventh grade me: oh my god I hope nobody can tell I'm gay please no

Present me: WHY DON'T ANY OF YOU REALIZE I'M GAY DO I NEED TO PAINT MYSELF RAINBOW

"They should teach self-love in school."

-

(via purplebuddhaproject)

isn’t this illegal

(via arianalovingclarineter)

everets:

*takes off shirt in front of girl* you like this? i got this pink line from sitting down for a long time. sometimes i get two lines.

(via traveller-of-everywhen)

avengernerdone:

addictionoffiction:

a-small-british-whovian:

brendonboydurl:

deliverybooty:

hipster-trichster:

spookodactyl:

scareahmanning:

JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL

WILDCATS

THERE’LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE

TO SEE A MARCHING BAND

IT’S A GOD DAMN ARMS RACE

CAUSE I’M MR BRIGHTSIDE 

DO WEEE DOOOOOOO

GRAB YOUR GIRL AND GET SOME DIXION CIDER

(via traveller-of-everywhen)

japaneseanimes:

I tell my girlfriend I am hornet. She thinks it’s typo, but she’ll find out soon enough.

(via traveller-of-everywhen)

fastcompany:

Ka-Pow: Watch These Fish Cannons Shoot Salmon Safely Over Dams

Salmon have serious swimming skills—some travel thousands of miles to return to their original homes to breed. But even though they can jump as high as 12 feet in the air, they can’t manage to get over massive concrete dams that we have built to block their journeys back to their homes. Now one new idea could give them a boost. The plan involves whisking the fish through a long vacuum tube at speeds up to 22 miles per hour and then shooting them out the other end like a cannon.

Read More>

(via hydrogyne)

andrewpalmer97:

Anecdotes by medical practitioners

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

“I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.”

Reddit thread 

Guess health classes in schools aren’t working out. Go figure.

(via pauvre-petit-eli-sawicki)

the day

  • no starbucks today because my ankle’s hurting like a bitch
  • 5/6 books came into the library the only one left is am i blue but these ones are gay short story enough to keep me occupied for a while
  • although one is murakami and it’s really weird and kind of distorted to read him without max reading too
  • i also actually unpacked my camp backpack i didn’t cry but my hoodie still smells like upstate new york
  • marshall and i went out for lunch we saw nina and max fine and then ben majtyka and his group of Badass Bitches they look like they aged down a year tbh
  • i’m growing gayer and gayer as time goes on
  • today would’ve been a year and to be fair we’re both being bitches about it
  • "body part that starts with o!" "ovaries
  • eventually i’ll stop missing cabin 8 (and eli and maya) but as for now it’s like
  • when does it end
  • i mean it ended fast for cabin 8 last year since i didn’t know fiona at all (it took me a week to learn her name) and erin and emma didn’t think about anyone but each other and brenden zak but
  • i don’t know
  • it was really nice to have friends
  • according to my sister i “don’t watch what i eat and it shows” so looks like i’m gonna need to be more careful about that, too
  • like this body already isn’t the kind it should be and then it’s even bad for a girl’s body like
  • who the fuck came up with this idea
  • i need to sleep
  • and that’s not even my writing style that’s not even my fake writing style and it’s really really REALLY nice being told by someone you loved to go die
  • it actually reminds me point for point of april’s but who’s keeping track anymore

quick summary: willy wonka and the chocolate factory

boy: i hate being poor

grandpa: were going to the fun factory

mr chocolate: hello naughty children its murder time

essayofthoughts:

indigoumbrella:

essayofthoughts:

indigoumbrella:

huffpostarts:

In The Not So Distant Future, Glow-In-The-Dark Trees Could Replace Street Lights

Is that… is that even healthy?

There are sea organisms and fungi which glow in the dark and there’s fireflies and jellyfish which glow in the dark. It doesn’t do them any harm nor does it do the people around them any harm. I would say its pretty healthy, as well as it would mean more photosynthesis happening in cities which mean cleaner air.

I was just curious about how they were doing it and for some reason I didn’t think to click the link. But thanks! It makes more sense now. I was afraid it was some kind of chemical thing.

nah just genetic modification using existing bioluminescent genes. Genetics is really cool, and so is bioluminescence. I mean they’ve already made pigs glow using jellyfish genes and pigs are waaay more complicated than trees iirc. So they’re actually (i think) less likely to muck it up with trees.

In which case

GLOWY

FORESTS

GLOWY

TREES

GLOWY

EVERYTHING

(I like glowy things)

(via notaveryexactscience)